ryan adams can't stop collaborating

She's probably thinking, "Wow, I sure would like to eat some poop right now!"

At lunch, we were talking about dogs and cats eating vomit. Jon:
"I used to live with this guy called Jake, who had a dog from this really stupid breed called Schipperke. This dog would vomit, start to eat its own vomit, while it was eating it's own vomit it would shit, then it would eat the shit, then it would shit again, and then vomit while trying to eat the shit... I am so totally not even exaggerating, dude."

motion picture purgatory

Rick Trembles reviews Bowling For Columbine in comic strip form.

one photo down, one to go

"Hi there,

just feel like I have to strongly object to the photographs of the nude 20 year old woman on abc brisbane's site. I refuse to believe that this art does not broach ABC editorial guidelines. I feel quite sure if I tried to access photographs of frontal nudity on my internet the abc's own nanny would object and yet we as the public broadcaster are parading this woman, and congratulating ourselves for the interest it's caused. Achieving record hits in this fashion is not clever; it's the most obscene stunt I've ever witnessed. A photograph of her back, or her profile even, even a model of more artistic and less pornographic merit might (perhaps) be more acceptable but what is currently on the site is not (not even broaching the issue that it all began with an on air program).

While I have to admit to laughing when I first saw it, in truth I'm horrifed we (and it reflects on us all) have sunk this low..."

no mere cats

born rich vs. awarded grant

GRANT MORRISON: "DC didn't want to publish LeSexy because Karen Berger felt it was a bit dark and parochial for her tastes. British comedy, unlike the American variant, tends to focus on self-important losers (Basil Fawlty, Captain Mainwaring, Rigsby, Alan Partridge, etc.) and when I tried to create a British sitcomic for an American publisher, it didn't stick. If I choose to do any work on Superman it'll be because I have a good story, not because Eddie LeSexy wasn't upbeat enough to appear as MAY on the Vertigo calendar.

"If someone wants to do a British humour comic aimed at the Brass Eye/Big Train/League of Gentlemen/The Office audience...I have the perfect story. In the end, I may adapt the scripts for TV and try again there. It started out as a TV idea."

from this week's Title Bout

Speaking of #1 movies, has anyone ever noticed what elitists run Moviefone? So, Friday night, hanging out with friends -- we want to see a movie, so we turn to those Moviefone snobs. Moviefone guy comes up, “TYPE IN THE FIRST THREE LETTERS OF THE MOVIE YOU WANT TO SEE.” So, we’re debating -- how about NARC? I type in NAR. Moviephone guy goes, “Is the movie you want to see JUST MARRIED?” Uh, no, but then the second time he gets it right. So we’re still debating, and we think, what about CITY OF GOD, the new Brazilian crime movie that’s gotten great reviews (Movie Poop Shoot’s Jeff Wells’s favorite movie of 2002)? I type in CIT. “Is the movie you want to see JUST MARRIED?” Third time, a friend hadn’t seen the great, great CONFESSIONS OF A DANGEROUS MIND yet. I type in CON. “Is the movie you want to see JUST MARRIED?”

Do you see what I’m getting at? Those snobs think “If you want to see JUST MARRIED, you’re not going to be smart enough to know how to smell. You must be a moron. Let’s make it easy on you. You’re just going to be hitting buttons at random, like a monkey. Here, monkeyboy, here’s your pablum. You’re like the ape at the beginning of 2001.”

OCT020017 USAGI YOJIMBO THE SHROUDED MOON LTD HC $59.95
What does SHROUDED MOON mean? Well, moon -- lunar cycle -- menstruation. What does shrouding menstruation mean? How do you shroud that? Wait, USAGI YOJIMBO is about a bunny rabbit who is also a samurai. And what’s the expression for when a woman is pregnant? “The rabbit died.” So maybe the moon is shrouded because the woman missed her period. Okay. I solved that puzzle. Man, somebody get me a Rubik’s Cube -- I could destroy that shit right now…

DEC022480 ARCHIES SPRING BREAK SPECIAL #5 (O/A) $2.49
Great, Archie puking all over himself while Jughead does keg-stands. The kids’ll love that.

NOV022420 BRATH PREQUEL $2.95
Okay, morons: You can’t have a PREQUEL when there’s been no QUEL yet. It’s QUEL, SEQUEL and PREQUEL. There’s been no QUEL. I demand QUEL. It’s a PREVIEW maybe, but it’s not a PREQUEL. And it’s HOOOOORSEEEEEEESHIIIIIIIIT.

more funny at Title Bout

j spaceman on new spring heel jack album

"I've kind of had to temper that line, that Spiritualized is free as we can get, given that it's based around song structures, that there's some kind of format to the way rock 'n' roll or gospel music works. The Amasses session was absolutely free. No given key, no given time signature — we're away. It's a fantastic album. Masses is probably my favourite album from last year, and I think this new version is absolutely something else — way better."
full interview at chartattack

one brain

"Europeans have always looked at America with a mixture of fascination and puzzlement, and now, increasingly, disbelief. How is it that a country that prides itself on its economic success could have so many very poor people? How is it that a country so insistent on the rule of law should seek to exempt itself from international agreements? And how is it that the world's beacon of democracy can have elections dominated by wealthy special interest groups? For me, the question has become: 'How can a country that has produced so much cultural and economic wealth act so dumb?'"
-Brian Eno in Time magazine - continued in link

i knew it

tony rollinson continues to explain superhero comics

"Btw, the new GENERATIONS was superb, apart from Byrne explaining GENERATIONS continuity on the back page.

An excerpt from my dodgy memory.

Alfred the butler was not the original butler in the early Batman's. (Let's call the original Geoff.) If the story is set in the 20's the butler will be Geoff. If, however, a scene from the 20's is shown in flashback the Butler will be Alfred. This is because as far as current comics are concerned Alfred was always the Butler.

It's a good job I was smoking some wicked green, coz it made sense at the time."

I lost twenty bucks on number 14

Check Here for an Easy Lay_______

What is the big deal abut married women? It's so much easier to fuck a horny, single girl! There are 60,000 hot single women waiting with their legs spread open and their pussies wet. All you have to do is slide it home!

WE'RE NOT MARRIED AND WE'RE READY TO FUCK!

FACTS: Single women are the most likely to have casual sex with strangers, are the least picky and are the easiest to get into bed
*******
Single women have more free time for sex, and can do it more often than attached women
*******
There is no where else on the planet where it's possible to find so many horny women who want to fuck NOW

College Students
Secretaries
Teachers
Teens
Salesgirls

There are 60,000 of us single girls in every city in America - plus 50 countries around the world! If you're still set on fucking a horny housewife, we've got 40,000 nasty ones waiting for your cock.

I'm NOT married - we can do it whenever!

Single girls, you say? I wonder why no-one's ever hit on this untapped resource of sexual availability before. Sorry, no time for clicking, I'm off to meet some of these women who aren't picky and like sex with strangers!

from this week's Rocking Vicar

"I'VE HAD A PERFECTLY WONDERFUL EVENING. BUT THIS WASN'T IT."
"Before Xmas, Mister Alice Cooper was talking about his career on (I think) Jonathan Ross's Radio 2 show. He mentioned he was a good friend of Groucho Marx, who brought George Burns and Mae West to a gig - 'They considered it Vaudeville'. Alice also commented how Groucho would call him up in the middle of the night 'for a chat'."

THE JOE STRUMMER I KNEW
Parishioner Steve Goulding writes: "There was another Strummer story, more of the 'you had to be there' variety, where Joe, having thoroughly enjoyed myself and Jon Langford's opening set for The Mescaleros in Chicago as Skull Orchard (quite a good rock 'n' roll name, we thought) decided that rebranding us as the somewhat-less-than-catchy Long Gone City would be our ticket to stardom, a clue to both his generosity of spirit and his state of weed-assisted complete bladderedness at the time. I still have the piece of paper he wrote the name on."

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mrrkd is back from japan

Let's meet! u

Hi, I'm Julie.
My close friends think I'm prim and proper. If they only knew my wild side. I totally love gangbangs and bukkake parties.

I take as many cocks as I can. One time I did an air-tight. Cocks in my pussy, in my ass and two in my mouth at the same time. I want more and more all the time.

Do you wanna date me? Click Here To Hook-up

Thanks for the charming offer, StiffyCravingGranny, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass.

hey, there's new Amber

joyce4you2001: im sorry you have that problem
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What problem?
joyce4you2001: the memory problem a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It says I have a memory problem on this card!
joyce4you2001: yes
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It says "I have recurrent short term full aphasic memory disorder, I may not remember the events of the last five minutes. Please return me to" and then it has my address.
joyce4you2001: yes
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I remember - I remember you said something about licking my lips? Is that right?
joyce4you2001: yes
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But then it's all blurry
joyce4you2001: i was refering to your lower lips
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: My pussy?
joyce4you2001: you must be on meds now

An older lesbian woman's attempt to lure Amber into a steamy pit of sapphic sin is stymied by a 3x5 note card and a message from the brain doctor.

choo choo argh

"Hi all,

The Zombie Ghost Train will pull into the Hopetoun Hotel in Surry Hills this Saturday nite the 25th of January. Special guests for the nite will be psychobilly bonerattlers Kingpin440 from Melbourne and the ever rockin' Slant 6. Show starts at 8pm and is 8 bucks. See ya there.

ZGT"

most entertainist gig of the year

reasonable right-wingery

Peter Bagge hates the President

tony rollinson reads superheroes so you don't have to

LOEG #4: Very good. I got ALL the references, honest.

The Punisher: Ends with a wife-beating copper and the Punisher scowling, what more could you want.

Generations: I was thinking, what could possibly make my favourite retro comic better? It's got to be having a LoSH story woven into it. And lo' and behold what do I find when I open my new comic? Saturn Girl with her costume ripped to shreds doing the standard woman thing "OOh my mental powers are too much, I've lost the use of my legs."

Thor & Iron Man: The Alan Davis crossover issues. YAY!! People start worshipping Thor, then some bad Slovakian army dudes bust into the Thor-Church and start killing them all. "Thor, will you not avenge us?"

"COURSE I FUCKING WILL, MORTAL."

Thor then goes into one and starts chinning mortals left, right and centre. Iron Man's not having it, so he tools up in a fuck-off new suit powered by Thor's beard or something.

the V

from this week's Rocking Vicar

G.I. JOE ON THE GUEST LIST
"While browsing through a Robert Mitchum biography, I note that he once went to see Siouxsie & The Banshees at The Vortex. A rare example of two disparate worlds colliding. Any more?"
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work-safe, i assure you

GREAT TITS SEX LIVE ON CAMERA

Strummer in Musician, 1987

Many critics have pointed out that Springsteen appropriated an image from the film Night of the Hunter for 'Cautious Man': the hero is a once-tough loner who struggles to stay married - with "Love" and "Fear" tattooed on the knuckles of his hands. Sound familiar, Joe?

"From 'Death or Glory'!" Joe snaps, suddenly alert. "What about it?" Bruce uses the same image on his new record. "See...." Joe snarls and then stops himself - turning that cheek again. "Never mind. He's a cool cat. Think I'll rip some of his stuff off. I'm gonna get some furry boots and go sit outside an igloo with a four-track. Cut it straight to CD. I'm gonna call it Alaska." Joe's cool is starting to slip. "What about 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World?" he demands. "Straight out of Sandinista!. Tears for Fears' number-one world-wide smash. I saw him in a restaurant. I'd never met him before. I said, 'You! Are you Roland Orzabal of Tears for Fears?' 'Yes.' I said, 'You owe me a fiver!' He said, 'Why?' I said, 'Everybody wants to rule the world - 'Charlie Don't Surf' - middle eight - first line.' He reached inside his pocket and got out five and gave it to me. That's the truth too."
Bill Flanagan, probably

from this week's Rocking Vicar

SHAKIN' STEVENS - & HEAVY FRIENDS
"In the summer of 1975 the National Union of School Students (right on!) held their annual conference at the then-South East London Poly. After a day of arguing about Argentinean fascism and how schools were so uncool because ver kids didn't have any power, the evening's entertainment featured my friend Matthew's band Ferelith Watt, headliner Shakin' Stevens & The Sunsets (these were the days when the very right-on Stevens and his boyos would play any benefit going) and, in between, a shambolic bunch of hippies fronted by an energetic chap in a tramp's suit called The 101'ers, playing bad Chuck Berry covers. I thought they were quite good but not a patch on Rod and Ronnie, then riding high in my esteem with Smiler's version of Sweet Little Rock'n'Roller. Who'da thunk that 27 years later I'd be standing outside The Percy in the pissing rain manfully trying to avoid the eye of other mourners as that same person's hearse - with coffin stickered like a guitar case - sped by?"
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baxter's burning

time to take down the office christmas decorations

from this week's Rocking Vicar

PEARLS/SWINE COLLISION
"Parishioner Alan Robinson recalled the musical stylings of Pat Nevin and his dalliance with Joy Division. I recall a similar feature during the much-missed World of Sport's Saint & Greavsie slot. Bemused reporter visits chez Nevin, who spins him some tunes du jour and mumbles unintelligibly through fringe. Among tunes is a short burst of Cocteau Twins. Can't recall the track now, but would put good money on Ninty Binty Slonty Bonty. Th camera cuts back to an astonished Greavsie at the end of the feature. 'Sounds like he's playing his records at the wrong speed, Saint,' he slurred, dismissively of Grangemouth's finest. 'Ho, ho, ho,' you kill me, Greavsie,' adds The Saint. A golden moment, followed by wrestling from Stockport. Them were days."
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read today

The local second-hand bookshop's having a closing-down sale, you know. Elton's god-awful characterisation & dialogue are to the fore, and he completely cheats the whodunnit that the entire book is predicated on... but it still served as a feeble hit of Big Brother methadone before the new series crawls into gear in a few months.

yeah, he looks tired, but...

read today

Kicking on from the more straightforward novelistic structure of last year's children's novel The Amazing Maurice And His Educated Rodents, Pratchett now applies the maturer approach to a book for adults. This story about the various motivations, political and personal, that move people in an environment of civil unrest forsakes his earlier clever-cleverness for being just plain clever.

eeeeexcellent